Back In Training - Thoughts of a middle-aged jogger.................





Leap from the sofa like an elderly gazelle....


Climb into tatty tracksuit...


Double knot smelly trainers....


Venture out into the chill of a January evening.....


Pad, pad, pad....


Cold air slides insidiously into surprised lungs....


Dozing arteries jolt into life....


Pad, pad....


The desperate panting begins as gradients increase...


Stride is restricted to accommodate struggling muscles....


Pad...


Clear the mind and think positive thoughts....


I am not old..


I am not old...


I...am...not...


Dodge the traffic and


Skirt the borders of extinction...


Pad, pad, pad, pad....


I can do this..


I can do this...


I can....do...this...


Pick up the pace and turn back the tide of the years


Like a 21st Century Canute getting his feet wet....


Very, very, wet...


Float don`t sink..


Float don`t sink...


Float....


Like a bumblebee..


Like a tired wasp..


A hornet..


A crane fly...


A really tired fish out of water....


Drowning...


Flapping...


Dragging itself upstream like it did in the old days...


To the spawning grounds...


To ensure immortality..


To deliver the next generation...


Only..


This time..


The current is ..


Too...


Strong....


Mucus spews from mouth and nose...


`The Sound Of Mucus`..


Like a bad joke...


Like a music hall punchline...


Delivered to the solar plexus....


Gasping


Retching


Legs turn to lead


And ageing sinews protest.....


There is a circuit to complete.


There is a course to run.


The race is not yet done....


Done...


Done...


Do..ne...


As you gratefully approach the final stretch


You feel like you have been hit by a train...


Ahhhhh....


So this is why they call it ..training.....